by Cate McNider
It has been posited, that this pandemic is the Earth giving us humans time in: ‘Timeout’. Which translates to an opportunity to tune-in to one’s self. The choice has been made for us. How you handle the edict from the Earth, the CDC or WHO, is what you can control. How do you respond? Is it triggering anxiety, worry, desperation and fear? If you are, you have the world’s company — it has indeed gotten real!
If you are on the spectrum veering towards the other direction to calm and trust, you will be doing yourself a favor. Those in fear and anxiety will be doing themselves and loved one’s a favor if they can take this time, to use whatever self-care skills they have or can glean from trusted sources. Now is the time to observe yourself, instead of getting into the fear, take a step back. Allow a breath to enter and exhale. Breath has never been sweeter than when I took off my mask when returning from the grocery store, and carrying 2 bags up four flights of stairs!
Whatever your home situation is, it is still up to you as to how you respond to the constant data coming in from officials. I have cut back some, and have chosen to really use this time to investigate me — it’s all I really have. And what I’m discovering is, I’m ok at the moment. Yeah, I’ve been working on myself since I was 14, then at 33 the self work intensified and at 50 I hit rock bottom, which was the springboard to exponential healing these last 10 years. I’m doing all I can to live, while accepting that the odds are that many will be affected and die, and I might be one of them. Also many will recover.
I’m focusing on the positive. We are forced to look at what we do have. I have food. I have books. I have the internet and my computer is working. Checking in with friends. I am shamelessly streaming. I am also thinking, how I can help? (I gave a free online class last week, since my studio closed). My building has water, heat, gas and electric. The sun is shining.
We have the essentials, hopefully everyone does. What is essential within us, though? Everything actually! We do have everything we need within us, we just haven’t been forced to look there, because what’s outside in so called ‘reality’ is of course very compelling. Maybe it’s just getting older or having lost so much in my life, including illusions, that it is obvious to me, where to turn at this time — within.
I cried last night watching the last few minutes of the Netflix show, ‘Disjointed’, when Ruth’s beloved had six months to live and they drove off into the sunset in a car and camper. (Just watching its imaginative interludes made me feel stoned!) It was a trigger that allowed me to release feelings I didn’t know were under there. I didn’t stop myself, I allowed the tears to flow. My heart hurt, until I let it soften by allowing the feeling and the tears to be. What I did inhibit though, was my mind and it’s habit of wanting to define, make sense of and label. I stayed with the feeling. I won’t describe it here because the point is not to describe it, and even for a poet that’s hard! But I stayed with the feeling and allowed it to play itself out. Of course, my mind kept tapping me on the shoulder, but I paid it no attention. That was the action I was taking, by not taking a hold of the thoughts so readily offered. And the energy flowed through me cleaning me out. My breath became steady. I felt in touch with myself, whatever myself is, and I sat for a good while, eyes closed, going in. I emerged feeling the strength multiplied by not getting involved in mental chatter, a cessation of noise. It helped too, that it was 2am and no sirens were passing by, and Verizon’s massive exhaust system was in between blasts, and the mind of NYC was dreaming. Then I turned off wifi and went to bed.
We are here now. In this new reality which has been gearing up for our attention for decades and we have no escape. I don’t know what it’s all going to mean, but we do have to pay attention. We are suffering now from not paying attention before. The sooner we each pay attention to what we are paying attention to, the better off we all will be. That is, are we riding the wheel of negativity or are we using every fiber of our will and discipline to not feed the fears, anxieties and not knowing, however real they may be or seem? Staying in the moment and allowing yourself to breathe, and finding joyful things to do, will propel more moments like that to be sustained. The positive feeds the positive into attracting more of the positive. (Likewise in the other direction.) Don’t go there.
I believe we, the world will get through this, though its outcome will deliver a new kind of reality, revealing even more, the need for cooperation to survive. We are seeing how truly we are connected! The change is being imposed on us all. Nature is not asking our opinion; she does what she does, because she holds us all revolving in space. How we each respond internally, by focussing on helping ourselves and others to get through this, can help shape the collective outcome in the direction of raising our collective consciousness. Our choice is, do we comply with growing up, or do we resist, whine, berate others, continue to be greedy, and pollute the earth, air waves and ourselves?
You can’t choose to grow up unless you’re aware you’re acting like a child. Looking at the defaulting habits and fears is the place to look. Be kind to yourself. Accept you are vulnerable. This is a birthing process and it’s messy. Follow the pulse of your heart, feel the lungs embracing the heart with every beat and let whatever isn’t essential go. You are loved. Have fun inside — dance! Feel the sweetness of just being alive.
Cate McNider has been working with the bodymind and spirit for 29 years. Through every stage of her healing and working with others through different modalities, she now finds the Alexander Technique, most actively helps others address pain and stress. She is giving online classes during this time of 'social distancing'. President of The Listening Body® has spent three decades in the Healing Arts — spanning Massage Therapy, Reiki, Embodied Anatomy, Yoga, Body-Mind Centering®, Contact Improvisation, Deep Memory Process® and more — and has further sensitized her instrument through the process of Alexander Technique. Her AT training represents the culmination of a lifetime of work and study and a springboard for future creations. Cate is also a painter and published. www.catemcnider.com and www.bodymind.training.