The Habit of Dissatisfaction

by Brooke Lieb The Alexander Technique teaches a robust tool to recognize and address habits, including movement patterns, posture and muscle tone; and thinking and behavioral habits, as well.

As a child, growing up in the United States, and particularly as a student in American academia, I developed the tendency to respond to my circumstances with dissatisfaction. I was inclined to focus on what needed to be changed or fixed, how to garner or continue to get approval, and to seek distraction from my habitual internal dialogue and attitude towards my life circumstances. This attitude was reinforced by the people around me, by the media, and in particular, by advertisers. I was encouraged, first externally, and then internally, to strive to be better, to look for the next goal, the next success or win in life, the next project, the next task. What can I do next, so I can better myself and get the next toy, reward or show of approval or love from the world around me? And as a woman, what can I do to be more attractive, and thinner?

At the same time, from a very early age, I knew I wanted to experience contentment, satisfaction and joy in my life, and I had a strong inkling that I was going to need to work to overcome my tendencies to find fault and feel unsatisfied. I first saw a therapist at 18 and then began therapy in earnest for 11 years at around 21, with my primary goal being to love the life I am actually living. I began having Alexander lessons at aged 20, so I cannot be sure, but I believe my Alexander lessons contributed to my growing awareness of my emotional habit of being dissatisfied, and gave me skills to change my belief systems and responses to the challenges of life.

Over these last 32 years, having Alexander Technique as the central tool in my life, I feel like I have woken up more each passing year, and with this alert, aware state, I have gained more inner peace, self acceptance, patience for those around me, and an acute awareness of the dynamic of chronic dissatisfaction in myself, mirrored many ways in the world at large. My process has often been painful and hard won, as I grappled with my perfectionist issues, but I believe without the Alexander Technique, I wouldn’t be enjoying the wisdom that comes with age, and feeling so awake to life. I have learned how to enjoy myself more. This awakening is still a work in process.

One of my great pleasures as an Alexander teacher and a trainer of Alexander teachers, has been the honor of helping my students wake up to themselves and their lives, as well. I am inspired by their journeys, and I learn about myself in the process. At this point, work is play for me, and I feel so lucky that I earn my livelihood doing something I love so much.

If any of this resonates for you, I would be delighted to hear from you about your journey around the habit of dissatisfaction.

NOTE: The Alexander Technique is a useful tool as part of your self-care regime, but is not a replacement for consultation with a trained medical profession. It is important that you seek the assistance of a trained medical professional for persistent and on-going physical, emotional or mental symptoms, to rule out and/or address underlying causes.

[author] [author_image timthumb='on']http://www.acatnyc.org/main/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Brooke1web.jpg[/author_image] [author_info]N. BROOKE LIEB, Director of Teacher Certification since 2008, received her certification from ACAT in 1989, joined the faculty in 1992. Brooke has presented to 100s of people at numerous conferences, has taught at C. W. Post College, St. Rose College, Kutztown University, Pace University, The Actors Institute, The National Theatre Conservatory at the Denver Center for the Performing Arts, Dennison University, and Wagner College; and has made presentations for the Hospital for Special Surgery, the Scoliosis Foundation, and the Arthritis Foundation; Mercy College and Touro College, Departments of Physical Therapy; and Northern Westchester Hospital. Brooke maintains a teaching practice in NYC, specializing in working with people dealing with pain, back injuries and scoliosis; and performing artists. www.brookelieb.com[/author_info] [/author]

Creating a Culture of Life around Technology

By Dan Cayer So I guess it’s time to follow through on those New Year’s resolutions… I’m reminded of a quote, “We overestimate what we can accomplish in the short term, and we underestimate what we can accomplish in the long-term.”

I have not underestimated my ability to forget the name of this person, but the point seems clear given the various fads of self-improvement out there. When we make a slapdash effort to get fit, start meditating, lose weight, etc. we often have unrealistic expectations for ourselves. If we don’t notice immediate signs of improvement, discouragement might set in and our gym membership or meditation cushion becomes forgotten.

Somewhere in our mind, we know that this will likely happen. That’s part of what creates such intense effort at the beginning – going to the gym five days a week, meditating for an hour at a time – we are trying to right ourselves before the door swings closed again and we go back to our TV-watching, sugar-loving selves (that’s my fear, anyway).

It’s important to remember that what we’re really trying to change is not our present self, but the habits that got our present self to where it is. That means developing daily rituals to help us shift our inertia-driven orbit away from what is easy and familiar, to what may be more challenging but ultimately gratifying. We never say on New Year’s Day – I’m going to have a really impressive three months, and then by April I’ll get too busy and forget it all!

Reach the Sleepy Places

Resolutions become wishful thinking if we don’t take on the areas of our life where we usually operate on autopilot. Let’s say we want to eat healthier but we’ re used to coming home from work stressed, hungry, and scarfing whatever’s around until we are reconstituted enough to make dinner. If we don’t have easy options waiting for us in a bowl when we get home, we will probably pass on the healthy stuff.

One of my resolutions is to improve the way I use technology so I don’t detract from my health. I have a condition where typing even a sentence or dialing a phone number can be extremely painful, so I route all of my computer and phone work through voice recognition. Learning and using the software’s is hard enough, yet it’s been my experience that technology and mindlessness seem to go together. How easy is it to check out in front of a screen?

It’s in these dark places where the habits are at their strongest – like mold! So if we can bring the light of our awareness to the places where we perpetually are discursive, brooding, absent-minded, etc., then imagine how much easier it will be to do it in the rest of our lives! Practicing mindfulness and compassion while using email is like training for a race by running up a huge hill. It’s hard but our muscles (of mindfulness) are getting so much stronger. We’re creating habits that will change our trajectory.

A Culture of Life

To wrest this phrase from its current politicized context, I create a culture of life at my desk. Each morning, I give myself 5 to 10 minutes to clean the surface of my desk, go through piles I left the day before. I check in with my body for a couple moments when I sit down. All around my computer are pictures of my family, beautiful places, and inspiring slogans. I even buy myself flowers occasionally – aw, shucks! They are like medicinal injections to help me be strong enough to fight off speediness, disconnecting from my body, and tunnel vision.

If I didn’t bring so much positive intention, I know it’s easy for me to spiral downward into speed, distraction, and eventually pain. I’m much more productive when my culture of life is thriving around my workspace’s since I’m not working out of a frantic state of mind which often leads to poor decisions and time management. Rather, I’m reminded of the good things in life and how I wish to conduct myself.

How can you create a culture of life at your desk or wherever your autopilot place is? What will provoke you to notice your surroundings and feel more space? (Hint: cleaning up is a really good start.)

This post originally appeared at dancayerfluidmovement.com.

[author] [author_image timthumb='on']http://www.acatnyc.org/main/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Dan-Head-Shot-13.jpg[/author_image] [author_info]DAN CAYER is a nationally certified teacher of the Alexander Technique. After a serious injury left him unable to work or even carry out household tasks, he began studying the technique. His return to health, as well as his experience with the physical, mental, and emotional aspects of pain, inspired him to help others. He now teaches his innovative approach in Union Square, Carroll Gardens and in Park Slope, Brooklyn. He also teaches adults to swim with greater ease and confidence by applying Alexander principles. You can find his next workshop or schedule a private lesson at www.dancayerfluidmovement.com.[/author_info] [/author]

Using Alexander Technique Concepts To Reason Your Way Towards A Better Solution

Alexander didn't have a teacher to help him solve his vocal problems. He had no one telling him where to begin or how to approach finding a solution, so he began with simple observation and then experimented on a trial and error basis. One of Alexander's observations and concerns, as he worked for over 60 years teaching people from all walks of life, was the lack of critical reasoning people brought to problem solving. Some of my most effective teaching moments have been when I could help someone see, for themselves, how they were using their body or reacting to a situation.

Example 1:

This student contacted me for lessons because she was dealing with chronic, debilitating lower back pain, and unbeknownst to me, her doctor has suggested surgery. She never mentioned his recommendation to me (I read about it two years after the fact in the quote below), just her symptoms, at the start of our first lesson.

As soon as she came into the studio, I observed her alignment when standing, I could see why she was in pain. I showed her how she was putting pressure on her lower back by locking her knees and pushing down onto her waist and sacrum. I showed her on the skeleton where her hip joints are; and that her sacrum is not a weight bearing structure, but she was trying to rest her weight on the sacrum as though it was a third leg, putting enormous pressure on her lumbar spine. Within moments, she was able to allow her weight to distribute forward onto her hip joins, and lessen the pressure on her lower back.

"When my doctor suggested surgery to alleviate excruciating back pain from two herniated disks, I remembered a friend who had avoided surgery by working with an Alexander trainer so I tried it too. It's been almost two years since I started working with Brooke and I am virtually pain-free. When I do have pain, it's because I've forgotten to use the Alexander tools Brooke taught me; as soon as I remember to walk properly, the pain goes away. I no longer suffer from terrible lower back pain. My whole body feels less tense and I have fewer muscle aches. Using the Alexander Technique while playing golf, lifting weights or doing any other physical activity has helped prevent injury."

Example 2:

I was presenting the Free Monthly Hands-On Demonstration at ACAT, and as I typically do at the start of the event, I asked participants why they had come. The woman quoted below raised her hand, explaining she was in pain and was looking for tools she could use to reduce her discomfort.

"I asked Brooke about my knee pain and she asked me to get up from the chair and within a few seconds she saw my problem. She had me sit and get up again, this time giving me commands on how to position my legs when getting out of a seated position. I felt the difference immediately and to this day, I use the instructions she had shown me."

I was able to give her simple instructions so she would allow her head and torso to fully transfer over both her feet before she stood up; and to keep herself balanced over both legs as she sat. I could see quite clearly how she was putting undue pressure on her knees by trying to stand when her weight was still behind her feet and legs. Although she was unable to "feel" what she was doing that was contributing to her discomfort, she was able to understand my instructions so she could move differently. As soon as she had this new experience, she understood how to let her weight come onto both her legs.

Example 3:

I am working with a young actress, who shared she is not satisfied with her quality of sleep. After about 5 lessons, she came back and told me she has engaged in a point-by-point investigation into solving the combined issues that were interfering with her sleep. She said she'd solved some of her problems, knew the solution to others and was getting to them; and still had some questions about solving some of the problems. At our lesson last week, she said she was sleeping better already.

Here is her checklist:

1. Sleep Mask—buy one that does not fall off 2. Mattress—switch with neighbor, get a new one 3. Pillows—remove second pillow and get smaller pillow to put under big pillow (both pillow were a lot for me, and one was not enough so I was always struggling with them at night) 4. Glass of Water—Keep at distance far enough that you can't knock over 5. Dogs 6. AC—Keep remote next to you and turn on and off as you please during the night 7. Comforter—Keep yourself cool so you won't get hot under it, ask Michael to push it to your side before he gets in the bed so he does not sleep on it and therefore deprive you of wonderful comforters 8. Michael awake at night 9. Dogs chewing things—before going to bed remove all things that the dogs can reach that you know they will chew on (shoes, pens,etc)

While students who have lessons sometimes have a hard time describing what the Alexander Technique is, or describing the sensations and changes they experience, these examples are a bit more concrete and can help students understand the reasoning process that is an integral aspect of applying the principles of the Alexander Technique.

Ten Questions You Can Ask Yourself To Help You Solve Your Problem

1. How am I doing what I'm doing? Could I do this differently? 2. Am I tensing my neck while I do this? 3. Can I leave my head resting easily on the top of my neck while I do this? 4. Am I breathing? 5. Am I taking full advantage of my weight bearing bones? (spine, pelvis, legs, feet). 6. Is this something I have to do, or can I ask someone else to do this? 7. What is bothering me or making this a challenge? 8. Do I have an experience when this was easier or simpler? What is different now? 9. Do I know everything I need to know about this situation? Or am I assuming things? 10. What step-by-step instructions would I give to someone else if I was teaching her or him to do this?

A simple example from my own life came when I realized I could thread a needle more easily by facing the hole towards my eyes, and bringing the thread from behind the needle into the hole. It is much easier to see. I consider myself a somewhat intelligent person, but I realized how habitual I can be in life, and when I made this simple adjustment (after 38 years of threading a needle "blind" by bringing the thread in sideways) the activity became much easier and more efficient.

[author] [author_image timthumb='on']http://www.acatnyc.org/main/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Brooke1web.jpg[/author_image] [author_info]N. BROOKE LIEB, Director of Teacher Certification since 2008, received her certification from ACAT in 1989, joined the faculty in 1992. Brooke has presented to 100s of people at numerous conferences, has taught at C. W. Post College, St. Rose College, Kutztown University, Pace University, The Actors Institute, The National Theatre Conservatory at the Denver Center for the Performing Arts, Dennison University, and Wagner College; and has made presentations for the Hospital for Special Surgery, the Scoliosis Foundation, and the Arthritis Foundation; Mercy College and Touro College, Departments of Physical Therapy; and Northern Westchester Hospital. Brooke maintains a teaching practice in NYC, specializing in working with people dealing with pain, back injuries and scoliosis; and performing artists. www.brookelieb.com[/author_info] [/author]